Wisdom from The Fairies and Me

Posts tagged ‘Love’

I LOVE Myself

I am a recovering alcoholic. Today, October 22, 2012 I have 15 years sober. Part of being a recovering alcoholic is that you continue to take moral inventory of yourself and your life. This last week I have spent a lot of time reflecting about my past. I am so grateful for my life today and how amazing it is. I am often humbled by the experiences I have had. I have often said it is my ego that took me on my downward spiral and it was humility that brought me back. I work very hard to not allow myself to fall into my ego including the magic I experience on my spiritual path and in my spiritual work. Then I had a revelation, maybe I do this too much.

I have felt that I love myself and have done a lot of work around self love over the years. I can look in the mirror and say “I love you.” I feel like I am a good person and in general feel good about myself. I use to hate myself. There was a time when I wanted to kill myself. There were days when I could not look at myself in the mirror. Those days are behind me and I have made great improvement. I realized that, though I have improved by leaps and bounds since then, I have kind of hit a plateau. I got myself to a baseline of self-love. I can see the Divine in me. I can love who I am. I hold it right there. I don’t take in the gratitude and love and support of those around me. I don’t allow myself to see myself through the eyes of all of those around me. I do this for two reasons.

The first reason is the ego issue. My ego will tell me I know better then God or anyone else and convince me to make horrible choices, so I resist it. I also resist pride and in turn my confidence is shaky. When someone experiences a great healing session, or is moved by the words from The Fairies, I don’t take any ownership. I am just the vessel. What I forget is that the vessel is a part of the whole experience. Any caterer can tell you that what you serve the food in can greatly impact how the food tastes. How something is presented effects how people take it in. I am a part of the experience and yet I negate my part.

The second reason is that I have given my power away to others and they have not validated my goodness. Over the years I have let the opinions of family members or friends judge me. For one reason or another I thought that they knew more then me, or had a clearer picture of me, and would let their opinion matter most. I have been dismantling this, especially this last year. Sometimes I have a thought about myself and I have to ask myself if it is my own thought or one that I adapted from another. The really odd thing is I could have dozens of people telling me how great I am but a negative comment from someone I gave my power to would have ten times more weight. Why? Because I had already made the choice that they held the power.

I have made the decision to take my power back and be proud of whom I am. I will take in the compliments, when they come, as truth for me to hold. I will receive with gratitude the love and support from others and the universe. Most of all I will honor my part in all of this creation that is my life. I will no longer love myself at the bare minimum afraid of my ego. I will embrace my magnificence and rise above the petty thoughts of others. I hope that all of you will join me and we can sparkle with the stars together.

Cupid

When I was told I should talk to Cupid for Valentine’s Day I argued. I had always thought of Cupid as the cherub they often pictured on cards or as a being from Ancient Greece; son of Venus. Once again I needed to expand beyond my own definitions. I was informed that Cupid was the energy of love in humanity and the many expressions and relationships of love. Since this is such a big energy it has been personified in both the Angelic and Fairy Realm. I was being called to get a message from the Fairy Cupid, so I let go of my preconceived ideas and opened to the message.

As I “entered in” I am greeted by a tall slender female Fairy with dark hair dressed all in reds. “I thought Cupid was going to be male” I said

“I am the female half of Cupid, he is the male half” she gesture toward a tall slender male fairy dressed all in reds.

“Is there a male and female in the Angelic Realm and why is there both here?” I questioned.

“Masculine love energy and feminine love energy is very different energy. It is easier for us to assist by taking two forms. Just to clarify feminine love energy can be present in males and vice versa. It is just a particular form of love energy. In the Angelic Realm they are better at blending masculine and feminine energies. They are less divided by one or the other. Cupid is one being in that Realm.” The female Cupid responds

“Well that leads me to a ton of more questions but I think they are for another time. What is the message you wish to share with us?”

“Many of you are surrendering to love. It could be love for another, love of yourself, love of life, or connecting with your passions. We want to remind you that love makes you feel powerful not powerless. In the act of surrender you may think your power is being taken away but find the ways this is empowering you.” answered the female Cupid.

The Male Cupid finally spoke, “We also wish Humanity to open to the solution of love. When pondering a decision pick the choice that feels the most loving especially for yourself. When you feel stuck or you can’t find an answer send love energy out into the world or perform a random act of love and let the universe bring the answer to you.”

“When you love, love, love then love, love, love will be returned.” The female cupid jumped in, “Express your love in what ever ways feel fitting in the moment. Remember love expressions do not have to be connected with money. Money is often how you show the value of something in your Realm and you use this often to show how much you love. You buy the biggest present or the rarest. There is nothing wrong with that. We would like you to start using love as your expression of value. When something or someone is important to you throw love at it. Focus as much love as possible on it.”

Then the male cupid added “Whatever you focus your intention on is where we, the other beings, and the universe will focus our energies to support you. Also how you focus your intention is important. If you are focusing filled with fear, stress, or regret then you will signal us that you need help being freed from your own limits and may not get the result you want. When you focus with love, joy, and gratitude then you signal us that you would like more of this in your life and are ready to make room for it.”

“Release your fears and let love explode from you into your life.” They exclaimed together.

“One last thing,” the female Cupid said, “Please use this information to love. Do not berate yourself for not being perfect. When you find the solutions to issues then you should rejoice in the discovery. Do not beat yourself up over not knowing the answer sooner.”

I thanked them for their wisdom and promised to share the message right away. I hope all of you have a Happy Valentine’s Day filled with love.

Strive to be Worth Knowing

I have been feeling a little defeated the last couple of days. Even though the last few months have been the busiest in years, this week has been/is completely dead. Couple this with my husband’s other business being almost completely dead and you get me in money worry and stress. It never fails. Even though I know I am always supported and provided for, I still worry and stress. Then while on Facebook today I started noticing I was not the only one. Many people I know and think are brilliant or talented or wonderful people were expressing their feelings of defeat, or despair, or apathy. I started wondering if everyone had lost their passion. Was there a cosmic joke being played out for all of us to see? Then I started thinking about my fortune cookie last night. It said “Do not worry about being known, strive to be someone worth knowing.” I think too often we worry about how much money or fame or recognition we are getting as a way of measuring our self-worth or success. When I find myself living in my head and feeling this way I do two things. The first is to make a gratitude list. I list all the things I am grateful for in my life. My wonderful family, healthy kids, and even things like internet connection and heat in my house. No matter what there is plenty to be grateful for in every life. The second is reminding myself I don’t know nor have control over the future. I believe in CO-creation. The CO is an important piece. I can shift my feelings, my thoughts, and my vision, but I have to let God, The Fairies, and any other powers that be do their part. So if you are feeling defeated, lost, or passionless listen to what The Fairies told me. “Life will not always be ideal. There will be times when you feel like none of it is worth it anymore. The magic never leaves you. It sometimes pulls away a bit as it builds and then something amazing will happen. This magic that has been building will create a powerful miracle and you will have clarity for a moment. Then you will know where to step next and things will flow again.” – The Fairies

A Talk with Grandmother Spider by Ryan Saenz

I found myself standing by the tree of knowledge on the hill in the meadow of my quiet place. The lush green fields spread down to a tranquil stream that bordered a forest. This is my place. I take in a deep breath when she walked up to me from around the tree. Grandmother Spider smiled softly at me as she approached me in her latest form as a tall slender elderly woman. Her solid black eyes were larger than normal, with eyebrows made of three smaller eyes.

“Why do you fight this change?” She asked, her hands folded calmly together.

“Because I fear the unknown.” I replied.

“But you didn’t fear me when I arrived before you as a giant spider.” A scene of when we first met flashed in my mind.

“That was because we are one. Our essence is the same.”

“If we are one. We are the same essence. You should understand how we are also the divine. We are the both the dream and the dreamer. Connecting and Creating to the whole. The web of abundance is also the web of the divine. The web of the whole.” She brushed her hand through her silky grey hair, looking at the meadow.

“Connection to the whole? If I am connected to the whole, how do I activate it? So that I may accept and know what it offers?” I said in a mixture of confusion and frustration.

“You see connection and activation as separate my child.” She stretched out her hand and touched my cheek gently, “Only ask. Send out the vibrations of hope, love, and faith. We will answer your request and prayers. Ask, know, and feel. It will come.”

Grandmother Spider offered her hand to me, as I took it, she pulled me gently down as she continued to speak, “So many times I speak to you and others, so often how it falls on deaf ears. First we must quiet your mind, and reconnect you to the world around you. Sit.”

I sat next to her, feeling the cool grass beneath me.

“Look around your, see the clouds, feel the breeze? Place your palm on the earth, and close your eyes. Feel the pulse of the ground as you touch it. Like the strings of a musical instrument, so are the vibrations of the earth, this is the web I speak of.” She gestures out to the field, “This is what you connect to when you need to ask us.”

Placing my hand on the floor of the earth, I feel a rhythmic pulse. A vibration like a hand on a drum head as it is struck steadily. Soon the blades of grass start tickling my hand as they vibrate, and soon I can feel the world around.“Feel the ripple of energy and follow it. Feel it pulse not just away to everything but through you, know and feel how it is a part of you as you are a part of it. Things are changing, as they always are. The world is constantly in motion to this rhythm you feel beneath your hands and in your body. Currently there are big motions set in place. The people of the world want to move this world’s vibration into one of better harmony, or a different frequency, we’re not just talking a simple perspective shift, but a total paradigm change. We are moving and preparing for the third great change. People need to know that this shift is working. That we are moving from a place of fear and pain, to a place of unity and love. In America you are seeing it as the Occupy movement. One voice becomes a hundred. One ideal becomes a movement. This is the change that is being evoked in our hearts. We as a whole are ready to start moving to love. This change is happening elsewhere in different ways, and different levels. All over the world people are starting to say, we are one. We are all connected, we are the whole.”

Looking up as she is talking, I see the sky light up with thousands of stars separated at first. As she continued to talk they split, one becoming two then 4 then more and more, until eventually the sky is filled with millions of tiny balls of light. They almost made the sky look like a white screen of light. One of the lights flew toward me, and as it got closer I realize it was a glowing dragonfly. It looks at me and says

“Remember me. I am the beacon of light. I am what we need in everyone, but only need for one to embrace me. Light up and they will follow. Connect to the whole.”

Prophecies and Changes

As we head through the Fall equinox we are also approaching some interesting times of prophecy. One is the end of 2011 and the beginning of 2012. I believe the 2012 shift, often based on the Mayan Calendar, is about we, as a society, moving out of fear and greed into a more love based society. I think we have been in this process and the peak of it is the year 2012. There is a Hopi prophecy about four astral bodies causing amazing shifts on our planet. A comet that is being tracked by NASA meets the description of some of this prophecy. The first time we came into alignment with this comet was the day before the Japan earthquake/tsunami. The next time we come into alignment will be Monday. Of course there are many predictions of huge earthquakes and the such, but I don’t want to talk about the fear. I want to share some of my recent experiences, what the fairies have to say, and my insight so far.

The last couple months I have been personally experiencing what I describe as inner upheaval. It is like my guides have decided that I need to move forward now and fast. The monthly messages have been about honesty, releasing, and basically being stripped down another layer to the authentic self. I have been experiencing this in multiple ways. The universe brought me multiple opportunities to see, hear, and feel the places in my relationships where I was not living in my integrity. My biggest lesson in this life seems to be that I need to stop taking responsibility for those around me and focus on what I need to. I can make plenty of excuses of how people need me, can’t do it alone, or have no one else, but that is all a lie. Everyone is as capable as me to take care of themselves. It is my ego wanting to be stroked or my fear that clings to these notions. So, once again I have to shift my focus to myself and my path and draw some boundaries and let go of roles I have played. Some of these have been more difficult then others and I am still in the process. Along with this revelation I was brought another one. It is time for me to focus more on and really claim my channeling work. I have resisted being a channel from the beginning. I love to talk to the Fairies and share their information through writing or in a reading with someone but not in the way of being a direct channel. In 2005 I had the Fairies come and tell me it was time to allow them to speak through me and I have fought it tooth and nail every step of the way. I have done the channeling often since then, but I slow it down and don’t claim it and only really allow it in a certain connection. Well, it is time to surrender and allow them to deepen this connection. After getting myself physically ill and injured, I finally decided to face what I had been running from. I am a Fairy Channeler.

I am sharing all this with you to illustrate what this time of prophecy and change is about. It is time for all of us to step forward and deepen our path. It is time for all of us to peel away another layer towards our authentic self. It is time for Humanity to surrender to the energy that we are a part of. No matter what you do, how you fight it, or what denial you are in, you will still be dragged along. I suggest we all stop fighting. We are here on this Earth in this timeline for a purpose. That purpose is being revealed to us now.

The Fairies wanted me to share this from them. “We are here. Call on us when you feel alone. Call on us when you feel stuck. Call on us when you think you have no hope. We will bring you solutions. We will bring you clarity. We will bring you miracles. They may not be what you think they should look like or what you think you want, but they are exactly what you need. They will fulfill you more then any daydream could. You are safe to step forward and it is time.” – The Fairies

If something you have read touches you please share and or comment below. You can also find the monthly message from The Fairies and much more at my website:

http://www.theexpandedgateway.com

Reclaiming Self

I started noticing a trend in the sessions I was doing and conversations I was having with family and friends this last week. There seemed to be this energy that was making everyone face old family dynamics, that before they had just accepted, and realize it was time to change them. It seemed like every day I was talking about creating new boundaries in old relationships and changing old “knee jerk” reactions to something from a more aware perspective. A lot of these also had the power of secrets and shame tied up in them. The ultimate shift seems to come from a space of reclaiming a sense of self and being able to stand strong in one ’s self. Since this seems to be an overwhelming universal energy that is present right now I thought I would share some insights from these sessions and conversations.

The family of origin (our original family dynamic) is the base for our experiences of relationships to others, safety, God and the world. So when our experience in this original dynamic has abuse, terror, deep grief, abandonment, neglect, or any other horror that you can think of, we take that in as part of our reality tunnel (the filter in which we view the world from).We then recreate similar experiences in our life because of this trauma that we are carrying.  It isn’t until we ourselves acknowledge and then have another person acknowledge this trauma that we can free ourselves from this re-creating cycle. The problem is that in this healing experience many find the need to cut themselves off from their family to regain their sense of self. This leads to a need to find a new “family” support system and a need to face secrets and shame that have been weighing us down.

We humans need other human interaction scientifically, physically, emotionally, and spiritually. I am not talking about a co-dependent need or a feeling of trying to fill ourselves with what we think we lack. I am saying that we as conscious beings use these interactions to grow and feed ourselves on many levels. We are part of an ecosystem called Humanity and to behave as if we are not is detrimental to a person. This need for others is usually fulfilled by tribe which is usually our family. We have been almost brainwashed into the idea that family will love and support us no matter what, even when our experience would be counter to that. So to cut ourselves off from our family of origin, even part of it, can feel detrimental. In some ways it is. It can become a rejection of self, and a way to isolate to protect ourselves. Now I am not endorsing staying in abusive relationships nor am I saying to cut off all of your family. I believe that what a person who is going through this experience needs is support. One of the biggest hurdles to finding support is facing and admitting our secrets and shame.

I cannot tell you how many times people are shocked when I do not react in judgment as they reveal their deepest and darkest secrets. I also cannot explain what is to see all the shame they have been carrying around for decades start to disappear. We all walk around holding secrets and stories that we are sure will lead to instant rejection if we were to tell anyone. So we carry this pain, scared that someone will discover it, and waste energy and time covering it up. The truth is we all have things that have caused us shame. If we could just be brave enough to share it with someone else then we start the healing. Every time someone has been brave enough with me to share, it just endears them to me more. This is a true reclaiming of self. It is these parts that we reject and in turn give others power over us. When the secret becomes more important then your peace, you have lost yourself.

I started this blog by reflecting on this month’s message from The Fairies. It was all about honesty. They said that this month was about being honest with ourselves and others and how difficult that can be. Their closing is perfect for the closing of this blog. “Be ready to rip off the bandages and reveal all the healing and open wounds. See clearly, feel completely, and love it all.” – The Fairies

If something you have read touches you please share and or comment below. You can also find the monthly message from The Fairies and much more at my website:

http://www.theexpandedgateway.com

Message from Shadow Walker

I have been experiencing this chaotic, intense energy that seems to have wrapped itself around the world. Here in the US we are having congress in conflict and it attracted a lot of focus in our nation. On a personal level it seems like everyday I hear of another person dying or going into the hospital. I continuously feel like I am getting messages for myself but they are coming through garbled and unclear. It appears we are in another one of those gateway points and it seems we have a few weeks before it lets up. When I try to get clarity about the energy that is so present The Fairies just say to surrender, relax, and accept. Yes, easier said then done. During a Channeling with a friend recently I connected with a Fairy that was a very unique energy. I knew that today I needed to connect with her and get a message. Shadow Walker appeared like before; her skin pale and almost like a salamanders, her hair white with streaks of gray and bits of earth, her form is human but her eyes and mouth remind me of amphibians I have seen. She slinks forward, moving like a low crawling fog. I ask for a message.

“As I said before, I like to spend time in the shadows, playing with the creepy crawlies. Often when a human looks under a leaf or in a log they yell out in surprise and fear. This is silly since these creatures are some of the most gentle and peaceful creatures you can find. You humans fear what lurks in the shadows, what you deem lowly or ugly. You do your best to cover up or deny what bugs you. This time is one for all the ugliness to surface. What you have been sweeping under a rug and want to act like it’s not there is now too big to ignore. Try to not look at it with judgment of yourself, others, or the situation itself. Accept what has been there all along for exactly what it is. This will help guide you to a solution or at least bring you peace. It is always grounding to get down with some beetles and worms see life from another perspective.”

I thanked her and came back to this realm.

If something you have read touches you please share and or comment below. You can also find much more at my website:

http://www.theexpandedgateway.com