The word “apocalypse” does not mean the end of the world. The true definition, from its Greek counterpart, is something that has been hidden being revealed. It means a revelation of truth. We are definitely in those times. Those end times. The times when that which has been hidden is being; revealed, underlined, highlighted and marked with a star. Denial is no longer an option. Some people need to leave this planet or this reality to join with the truth. Some people just need to face it and acknowledge it. It seems to me that the keys to our expansion are being handed to us right now. I had a BIG revelation this last weekend as did several of my friends and family. The ideas, relationships, feelings, etc., that had been the proverbial brick wall that we were banging our heads against suddenly became very clear. Instead of beating our brains against it, we were able to step back and look at clearly, as if for the first time. Sometimes clarity can be like a gentle sigh of relief that allows the ropes tied around you to fall away and at others it is the white hot intensity of a million suns melting away the chains you have bound yourself in. Either way the clarity sets you free. It allows you to see where you have punished yourself, shamed yourself, and blamed yourself (or those around you, or the universe). The clarity can feel like it is about other people, events of the past, or the situation we are in, but it is really about how we have lied to ourselves.
The last three months I had been in what felt like a downward spiral. I had lost confidence in myself and my abilities. I had doubt about what I had been doing or where I was “going” in life. I told my husband that I felt like I had spent the last 20 years building Stonehenge by myself. I had been carrying these huge blocks to the right place, carving them, and shaping them and setting them. People would come by and look in awe and say, “Wow that is really amazing. You are doing something really profound.” and then they walk away. I was thinking why the FUCK am I doing this! Is this really doing anything for anybody? More importantly is this really doing anything for me but causing me pain and wearing me out? We all have these dark moments when we need to question what and why we do what we do. It led me to a big “A Ha!” that was actually a few “aha”s put together. The core of it is this. We are magic. I am magic. You are magic. We have to face our denial and fears so we can let them go and focus back on the magic of who we are. I kept trying to protect those I love from the world. If you asked me I would tell you that I felt safe and on a certain level that was true. I as a singular person felt safe and trusted the Universe to take care of me. I did not trust that those I love would be safe. Some how they needed me to protect them. How arrogant am I? I was interfering with other people’s paths for what I thought was best for them. I thought that I had to take care of them because I couldn’t trust that they were safe in the world. This includes various family members, friends, my husband, and my children. When I clearly got it I saw why I felt so alone. I had not let others in to help. I also had not given myself the space to fall deeper into my “work” by distracting myself with taking care of everyone else. The reason I was losing confidence was because I let others set my standards of success. Also I had ideas about what results I should be getting or how others should be “healing” from my actions with them and it was not manifesting that way. We manifest from what we need. I needed to see how I was interfering with others’ paths to avoid mine.
As we see all that is being revealed, be it personal or global, I hope your clarity feels more like a sigh of relief and you are able to celebrate your new freedom. For inspiration I suggest listening to “I’m Free” by The Soupdragons.