Wisdom from The Fairies and Me

Archive for the ‘Love’ Category

I LOVE Myself

I am a recovering alcoholic. Today, October 22, 2012 I have 15 years sober. Part of being a recovering alcoholic is that you continue to take moral inventory of yourself and your life. This last week I have spent a lot of time reflecting about my past. I am so grateful for my life today and how amazing it is. I am often humbled by the experiences I have had. I have often said it is my ego that took me on my downward spiral and it was humility that brought me back. I work very hard to not allow myself to fall into my ego including the magic I experience on my spiritual path and in my spiritual work. Then I had a revelation, maybe I do this too much.

I have felt that I love myself and have done a lot of work around self love over the years. I can look in the mirror and say “I love you.” I feel like I am a good person and in general feel good about myself. I use to hate myself. There was a time when I wanted to kill myself. There were days when I could not look at myself in the mirror. Those days are behind me and I have made great improvement. I realized that, though I have improved by leaps and bounds since then, I have kind of hit a plateau. I got myself to a baseline of self-love. I can see the Divine in me. I can love who I am. I hold it right there. I don’t take in the gratitude and love and support of those around me. I don’t allow myself to see myself through the eyes of all of those around me. I do this for two reasons.

The first reason is the ego issue. My ego will tell me I know better then God or anyone else and convince me to make horrible choices, so I resist it. I also resist pride and in turn my confidence is shaky. When someone experiences a great healing session, or is moved by the words from The Fairies, I don’t take any ownership. I am just the vessel. What I forget is that the vessel is a part of the whole experience. Any caterer can tell you that what you serve the food in can greatly impact how the food tastes. How something is presented effects how people take it in. I am a part of the experience and yet I negate my part.

The second reason is that I have given my power away to others and they have not validated my goodness. Over the years I have let the opinions of family members or friends judge me. For one reason or another I thought that they knew more then me, or had a clearer picture of me, and would let their opinion matter most. I have been dismantling this, especially this last year. Sometimes I have a thought about myself and I have to ask myself if it is my own thought or one that I adapted from another. The really odd thing is I could have dozens of people telling me how great I am but a negative comment from someone I gave my power to would have ten times more weight. Why? Because I had already made the choice that they held the power.

I have made the decision to take my power back and be proud of whom I am. I will take in the compliments, when they come, as truth for me to hold. I will receive with gratitude the love and support from others and the universe. Most of all I will honor my part in all of this creation that is my life. I will no longer love myself at the bare minimum afraid of my ego. I will embrace my magnificence and rise above the petty thoughts of others. I hope that all of you will join me and we can sparkle with the stars together.

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Cupid

When I was told I should talk to Cupid for Valentine’s Day I argued. I had always thought of Cupid as the cherub they often pictured on cards or as a being from Ancient Greece; son of Venus. Once again I needed to expand beyond my own definitions. I was informed that Cupid was the energy of love in humanity and the many expressions and relationships of love. Since this is such a big energy it has been personified in both the Angelic and Fairy Realm. I was being called to get a message from the Fairy Cupid, so I let go of my preconceived ideas and opened to the message.

As I “entered in” I am greeted by a tall slender female Fairy with dark hair dressed all in reds. “I thought Cupid was going to be male” I said

“I am the female half of Cupid, he is the male half” she gesture toward a tall slender male fairy dressed all in reds.

“Is there a male and female in the Angelic Realm and why is there both here?” I questioned.

“Masculine love energy and feminine love energy is very different energy. It is easier for us to assist by taking two forms. Just to clarify feminine love energy can be present in males and vice versa. It is just a particular form of love energy. In the Angelic Realm they are better at blending masculine and feminine energies. They are less divided by one or the other. Cupid is one being in that Realm.” The female Cupid responds

“Well that leads me to a ton of more questions but I think they are for another time. What is the message you wish to share with us?”

“Many of you are surrendering to love. It could be love for another, love of yourself, love of life, or connecting with your passions. We want to remind you that love makes you feel powerful not powerless. In the act of surrender you may think your power is being taken away but find the ways this is empowering you.” answered the female Cupid.

The Male Cupid finally spoke, “We also wish Humanity to open to the solution of love. When pondering a decision pick the choice that feels the most loving especially for yourself. When you feel stuck or you can’t find an answer send love energy out into the world or perform a random act of love and let the universe bring the answer to you.”

“When you love, love, love then love, love, love will be returned.” The female cupid jumped in, “Express your love in what ever ways feel fitting in the moment. Remember love expressions do not have to be connected with money. Money is often how you show the value of something in your Realm and you use this often to show how much you love. You buy the biggest present or the rarest. There is nothing wrong with that. We would like you to start using love as your expression of value. When something or someone is important to you throw love at it. Focus as much love as possible on it.”

Then the male cupid added “Whatever you focus your intention on is where we, the other beings, and the universe will focus our energies to support you. Also how you focus your intention is important. If you are focusing filled with fear, stress, or regret then you will signal us that you need help being freed from your own limits and may not get the result you want. When you focus with love, joy, and gratitude then you signal us that you would like more of this in your life and are ready to make room for it.”

“Release your fears and let love explode from you into your life.” They exclaimed together.

“One last thing,” the female Cupid said, “Please use this information to love. Do not berate yourself for not being perfect. When you find the solutions to issues then you should rejoice in the discovery. Do not beat yourself up over not knowing the answer sooner.”

I thanked them for their wisdom and promised to share the message right away. I hope all of you have a Happy Valentine’s Day filled with love.

A Talk with Grandmother Spider by Ryan Saenz

I found myself standing by the tree of knowledge on the hill in the meadow of my quiet place. The lush green fields spread down to a tranquil stream that bordered a forest. This is my place. I take in a deep breath when she walked up to me from around the tree. Grandmother Spider smiled softly at me as she approached me in her latest form as a tall slender elderly woman. Her solid black eyes were larger than normal, with eyebrows made of three smaller eyes.

“Why do you fight this change?” She asked, her hands folded calmly together.

“Because I fear the unknown.” I replied.

“But you didn’t fear me when I arrived before you as a giant spider.” A scene of when we first met flashed in my mind.

“That was because we are one. Our essence is the same.”

“If we are one. We are the same essence. You should understand how we are also the divine. We are the both the dream and the dreamer. Connecting and Creating to the whole. The web of abundance is also the web of the divine. The web of the whole.” She brushed her hand through her silky grey hair, looking at the meadow.

“Connection to the whole? If I am connected to the whole, how do I activate it? So that I may accept and know what it offers?” I said in a mixture of confusion and frustration.

“You see connection and activation as separate my child.” She stretched out her hand and touched my cheek gently, “Only ask. Send out the vibrations of hope, love, and faith. We will answer your request and prayers. Ask, know, and feel. It will come.”

Grandmother Spider offered her hand to me, as I took it, she pulled me gently down as she continued to speak, “So many times I speak to you and others, so often how it falls on deaf ears. First we must quiet your mind, and reconnect you to the world around you. Sit.”

I sat next to her, feeling the cool grass beneath me.

“Look around your, see the clouds, feel the breeze? Place your palm on the earth, and close your eyes. Feel the pulse of the ground as you touch it. Like the strings of a musical instrument, so are the vibrations of the earth, this is the web I speak of.” She gestures out to the field, “This is what you connect to when you need to ask us.”

Placing my hand on the floor of the earth, I feel a rhythmic pulse. A vibration like a hand on a drum head as it is struck steadily. Soon the blades of grass start tickling my hand as they vibrate, and soon I can feel the world around.“Feel the ripple of energy and follow it. Feel it pulse not just away to everything but through you, know and feel how it is a part of you as you are a part of it. Things are changing, as they always are. The world is constantly in motion to this rhythm you feel beneath your hands and in your body. Currently there are big motions set in place. The people of the world want to move this world’s vibration into one of better harmony, or a different frequency, we’re not just talking a simple perspective shift, but a total paradigm change. We are moving and preparing for the third great change. People need to know that this shift is working. That we are moving from a place of fear and pain, to a place of unity and love. In America you are seeing it as the Occupy movement. One voice becomes a hundred. One ideal becomes a movement. This is the change that is being evoked in our hearts. We as a whole are ready to start moving to love. This change is happening elsewhere in different ways, and different levels. All over the world people are starting to say, we are one. We are all connected, we are the whole.”

Looking up as she is talking, I see the sky light up with thousands of stars separated at first. As she continued to talk they split, one becoming two then 4 then more and more, until eventually the sky is filled with millions of tiny balls of light. They almost made the sky look like a white screen of light. One of the lights flew toward me, and as it got closer I realize it was a glowing dragonfly. It looks at me and says

“Remember me. I am the beacon of light. I am what we need in everyone, but only need for one to embrace me. Light up and they will follow. Connect to the whole.”

Reclaiming Self

I started noticing a trend in the sessions I was doing and conversations I was having with family and friends this last week. There seemed to be this energy that was making everyone face old family dynamics, that before they had just accepted, and realize it was time to change them. It seemed like every day I was talking about creating new boundaries in old relationships and changing old “knee jerk” reactions to something from a more aware perspective. A lot of these also had the power of secrets and shame tied up in them. The ultimate shift seems to come from a space of reclaiming a sense of self and being able to stand strong in one ’s self. Since this seems to be an overwhelming universal energy that is present right now I thought I would share some insights from these sessions and conversations.

The family of origin (our original family dynamic) is the base for our experiences of relationships to others, safety, God and the world. So when our experience in this original dynamic has abuse, terror, deep grief, abandonment, neglect, or any other horror that you can think of, we take that in as part of our reality tunnel (the filter in which we view the world from).We then recreate similar experiences in our life because of this trauma that we are carrying.  It isn’t until we ourselves acknowledge and then have another person acknowledge this trauma that we can free ourselves from this re-creating cycle. The problem is that in this healing experience many find the need to cut themselves off from their family to regain their sense of self. This leads to a need to find a new “family” support system and a need to face secrets and shame that have been weighing us down.

We humans need other human interaction scientifically, physically, emotionally, and spiritually. I am not talking about a co-dependent need or a feeling of trying to fill ourselves with what we think we lack. I am saying that we as conscious beings use these interactions to grow and feed ourselves on many levels. We are part of an ecosystem called Humanity and to behave as if we are not is detrimental to a person. This need for others is usually fulfilled by tribe which is usually our family. We have been almost brainwashed into the idea that family will love and support us no matter what, even when our experience would be counter to that. So to cut ourselves off from our family of origin, even part of it, can feel detrimental. In some ways it is. It can become a rejection of self, and a way to isolate to protect ourselves. Now I am not endorsing staying in abusive relationships nor am I saying to cut off all of your family. I believe that what a person who is going through this experience needs is support. One of the biggest hurdles to finding support is facing and admitting our secrets and shame.

I cannot tell you how many times people are shocked when I do not react in judgment as they reveal their deepest and darkest secrets. I also cannot explain what is to see all the shame they have been carrying around for decades start to disappear. We all walk around holding secrets and stories that we are sure will lead to instant rejection if we were to tell anyone. So we carry this pain, scared that someone will discover it, and waste energy and time covering it up. The truth is we all have things that have caused us shame. If we could just be brave enough to share it with someone else then we start the healing. Every time someone has been brave enough with me to share, it just endears them to me more. This is a true reclaiming of self. It is these parts that we reject and in turn give others power over us. When the secret becomes more important then your peace, you have lost yourself.

I started this blog by reflecting on this month’s message from The Fairies. It was all about honesty. They said that this month was about being honest with ourselves and others and how difficult that can be. Their closing is perfect for the closing of this blog. “Be ready to rip off the bandages and reveal all the healing and open wounds. See clearly, feel completely, and love it all.” – The Fairies

If something you have read touches you please share and or comment below. You can also find the monthly message from The Fairies and much more at my website:

http://www.theexpandedgateway.com

The Fairies Perspective on the Riots

I have been hearing about the riots that started in London a few days ago through various news channels and from friends online who are living there. I decided it was time to connect with The Fairies and get a different perspective. What follows is my conversation with them:

“I am here to ask about the riots in England, especially London, Birmingham, and Manchester. Many have lost their homes, property, and some have lost their lives. Countless people have been injured. It seems like senseless destruction that has no purpose even though I know all is Divine. Can you help all of us watching it happen, and all those experiencing it happening, gain a better perspective? Or at least some hope?”

A group of Fairies are present. An answer seems to come from the group but in one voice. “You must first understand that this creation has been slowly being built for thousands of years.”

“Do you mean hundreds? I know our time is often different then yours.”

“No, thousands. It is a cycle that humanity creates of oppression and intimidation that builds till it comes crashing down into chaos and then rebuilds to do it again. This particular cycle is happening not just in what you call England but all over the world. People feel fed up! They feel betrayed by the ones they thought served and protected them. They feel pushed around, lied to, and sold out. These people, which are the majority of Humanity, have a few ways they can deal with these feelings. One is to rage, riot, and violently lash out as you are seeing in London. The problem is that this leads to others feeling oppressed by those who are lashing out and then they will push back which creates more chaos.”

“I must say you are not making me feel much better.”

“What you all must realize is that this outward manifestation is a mirror for what is personally going on inside for all of you. The best way to diffuse this energy is focus on the parts in you that want to riot and burn it all to the ground. This energy has surfaced because it must be faced and released. It will only continue to build till it violently explodes into your life and creates destruction. This is a time of honesty. Be honest in yourself so that others can be honest with themselves so that the world can start operating in integrity instead of illusive deceit. Sometimes it takes chaotic destruction to crack reality open to a better loving way. That is what is happening here.”

“I know for many it is hard to forgive and be loving to those who they feel are destroying their town or home. Do you have any advice for those people?”

“It is not the time to be loving and forgiving to those who are lashing out. It is the time to be loving to yourself. Do what you need to do to be safe. Do what you need to do to stand in your power. Claim your sanctuary and hold that space. There will be a time for healing, love, and forgiveness very soon, but now is not that time.”

“What about us watching from the outside? Anything we can do besides face what’s inside us?”

“Do not under estimate the power of focused intent. Pray, meditate, create circles, or whatever way you connect to the Divine and align the Earth with that energy. We are doing are best to contain and diffuse the energy so it will do as little destruction as possible. As we have said before, this is a time of destruction, for structures to topple, and the old ways to be over. Humanity has to experience this chaotic destruction to be able to evolve and move forward into a new time based on love. Humanity has been creating this in its Divine knowing. As the individual you need to accept this time as it is, for what it is, and move through it.”

“Well thank you Fairies. I appreciate your perspective and help.”

We all must face what we feel trapped by, inside us or outside us, to help move along the energy that is manifesting. No matter how little or weakly you feel it. No matter how intimidating or insurmountable it feels. I hope you will also join me in sending love, light, and peace to all those experiencing the riots from any side of it. Peace be with you all.

If something you have read touches you please share and or comment below. You can also find much more at my website:

http://www.theexpandedgateway.com

Urgent Message From The Fairies

I was going about my day, thinking I was done with the “business” portion and moving on to my household chores when I felt the “tapping” on my psychic self. The Fairies had a message and as much as I wanted to say “Look, there is laundry to be folded!” I knew it would be in vain. When they have something say I will be driven crazy till I sit down and get the message. So, here is the message they insisted needed to be shared today and to everyone as soon as possible.

 

“We know that many of you are feeling crazy, raw, spent, and broken. It is too often you feel like the goal is just out of your grasp. It is like you are struggling continuously with no relief. We feel in many of you the desire to just give up. Please do not. You and your magical energy are needed now more then ever on your planet. You cannot stop now. These feelings are the feelings of break through. Open to your Divine path and let it carry you forward. You can catch your breath and then push through. We are here assisting you right now as you read this. We are adding flame to your soul, wind to your sails, and passion to your life. You are magic and you can let it spill forward into your world easily and safely. Let us help.

When you feel like all is lost, and you just want to give up, do this: Stop and close your eyes. Breathe deeply. In your mind or aloud say ‘Fairies please bring me a solution. I open to the magic and love that is all around me.’ And then see a flame burning and breathe it in. Let this flame fill you gently, burning away the burdens, stress, and the things that slow you down. Then you will be ready for your next step.

Remember that you chose this life, this path, this planet, and this time so you could be your greatest self and add that brilliance to the whole. We thank you for doing so. We promise miracles in the next few days. Be ready to receive.” – The Fairies

I have added an image of a fire to help with the visualization. I would like to mention that I thought of the energy of a Phoenix with this visualization. Be ready to be burned into rebirth.

Please feel free to comment and share below.

Phoenizx Fire

Let Yourself Be Weak

The theme this month from The Fairies is about being seen. The Monthly Message on my site is about letting your light shine. The articles they had me write were about embracing your Divinity and letting yourself be seen for who you really are. In all of these amazing messages we missed an important piece. Letting yourself be seen as weak or vulnerable. This too is part of your true self. You cannot be whole with one part missing. It is time to stop denying the small part of you.

We work as a society to make children self sufficient at younger and younger ages. Children who do not bother adults to care for them are celebrated. Those who need help are labeled, pushed into things they are not ready for, and often isolated. Then we wonder why we as adults can’t form healthy relationships. It is because we were never taught how. You are not truly being seen if you hide away a part of yourself. Why do we hide? Well I think there are a lot of motivations for this.

One is that we are not safe in our life with other people. Our wounding and pain from the past makes us fear what would happen. This is important to face because it is another step in trusting God/ Spirit/ The Universe. If you believe that you will be hurt or harmed if you show your weakness then you do not trust you are going to be taken care of. I’m not saying to put yourself in harm’s way. I am saying there is common sense and there is acting from fear of the past. I know you can tell the difference.

Another reason we don’t let our delicate side be seen is we are judging those around us. They need us to be strong for them because they are so weak. No one is any emotionally weaker or stronger then anyone else. Even children, elderly, the handicapable, and those with mental disease or disorders can emotionally be strong for others. We all can do it for each other. We are social beings that need other people to love and support us. The way to create that in your world is to allow others to step into that position for you. Too often I see myself and others try to take on a load of responsibilities and not accept help from those around us. Sometimes the best help is giving someone the space to just feel and be fragile. This concept leads me to another reason a lot of us don’t let ourselves be weak. We DO NOT want to be one of those people; the ones that manipulate others by acting weak, victimized, and broken. These people are stuck in their pain and use it to avoid responsibility. Aren’t I judgmental?

You won’t be one of them. The fact that you question it and see it means you are aware of yourself enough to not go there. If you are truly worried ask a friend who can be honest with you to keep this behavior in check. Of course that means opening up to them and being vulnerable, can you do that?

The last block I see comes from society, especially if you are male. We are taught not to cry, not to show fear, and to always be happy and determined. People who are sad and weak are not successful, productive members of society; no one will like you, and it’s not American! I can’t speak for other countries, but I’m sure they have similar feelings. We have created pills, books, and seminars around just being happy. So we become a group of people denying our feelings, trying to be perfect, and feeling alone.

The good news is you can shift all of this with just a choice. Feel your feelings. Give yourself space and time to feel sad or weak or fearful. Ask friends and family to support and love you by just listening to your feelings. Often we are not seeking someone to fix things just hear us. Let yourself be weak, cry, frustrated, and still love yourself in every moment of it. This too is part of your Divine self.

If something you have read touches you please share and or comment below. You can also find much more at my website: http://www.theexpandedgateway.com