Wisdom from The Fairies and Me

Trust Me Trust You

I had an epiphany a few days ago about the last five to six years of my life. I had a moment five and a half years ago when I realized my marriage had fallen apart and it was time for me to leave it. I had been with my then husband for almost 10 years and we had two children. This moment was both freeing and terrifying. The events that unfurled from that moment over the last almost six years have left me completely changed. Every time I thought I knew why something was happening or where I was going the path seemed to dissolve in front of me. Once I surrendered the next step would reveal itself and I would start trying to figure it out again and then have it dissolve again. I had perceived this as my struggle with ego and confidence or control and surrender. In some ways it was that but it was also my fear. I have a fear of being myself and claiming my life. Many would think I do that. I seem strong, resilient, stubborn, and intense. I am all those things but I am also afraid. I fear success as much as I fear failure. Mostly I am afraid of the unknown. The true clarity of this came to me last week, not as a thought but as a feeling. Often my greatest epiphanies come to me as feelings not rational thoughts. This feeling was trust. If I could just trust I wouldn’t have to be afraid. I had to trust my body, my universe, my family, my friends, the environment, my government, and especially my guides. There was a time I had felt this. I was very young. When I was 4 I was invincible. My 4 year old self would take on the world. Slowly I started to lose that trust. People betrayed me, I was hurt, and life happened. I experienced a lot of challenges in a very short time. By the time I was 18 I felt pretty broken but I stilled trusted some things. I had put a lot of faith in love. If I couldn’t trust my heart and love, what could I trust? Well, my first husband help shatter that too. The funny thing is the last five years, in which I have felt the most alone and broken, has been my rebuilding of trust. I now trust myself, my gut, and my intuition more profoundly then I ever thought I could, AND I know that this will only deepen.
I could spend my day freaking out about my finances and how there isn’t enough to cover my bills. I could choose to stress over any issues I perceive my children to be experiencing, or over the way my ex-husband is behaving, or what someone else did. I could beat myself over my weight or my health or worry about my grandfather who keeps dancing on the edge of death and health. I could get so angry about my husband and the fact that he didn’t do the dishes or the laundry. I could cry victim and blame the world for my choices. Believe me, I could do all these things and do them so magnificently you stood there in awe. Today I choose differently. I choose to trust. I trust that when I feel the struggle and things don’t go as I wish it is still for my highest and best; that, no matter what, my reality is being created to fulfill me.
We all have challenges in our lives. Everyone knows this but it is hard to always feel it. We can sit there and assume everyone else is feeling free, having fun, secure, happy, rich, healthy, and fully enlightened, but that is not the truth. That is our fear screaming inside us to break our trust. When we have an experience of the mind comparing our hurt to someone else’s appearance then our fear is working to separate us. When we are separate then we do not trust. I invite you to trust right now. Trust that you are lovable right now as you are. Trust that your body is perfect and any dis-ease you are experiencing is there to open communication with you and your body. Trust that your finances are an ever changing flow and there will always be more and there will be times of less. Trust that the Universe is conspiring for your highest good, your greatest joy, and your deepest experiences. Any pain you are experience is there to remind you to open, release, and receive more love. Trust in yourself.

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Comments on: "Trust Me Trust You" (1)

  1. hello again
    thank you so much for these words
    some of us, probably so many of us, actually have been on very similar paths !!
    i feel very much akin to your feelings and experiences, past and present
    much love and courage to you
    i have just 5mins before coming online done an angel card reading and had the same comfort. TRUST
    Doreen Virtue’s Daily Guidance Angel Oracle cards:
    1st card ~ perfect timing
    “EVERYONE AND EVERYTHING IS ON YOUR SIDE supporting your positive outcome”
    2nd card ~ focus on service
    “staying in this stream of giving and receiving”
    3rd card ~ blessing in disguise
    “TRUST IN HEAVEN’S PROTECTION AND INFINITE WISDOM”
    🙂
    lots of love to you dear soul, from joyful

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